I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 72 years later and life is great.
- I don’t have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don’t have a curfew.
- I have a driver’s license and my own car.
- I’m not scared of getting pregnant
- and I don’t have acne.
Old age is coming at a really bad time. I have the desire to do everything and the energy to do nothing. Plus, I have no patience anymore. Why, I had to change my car horn to gunshot sounds so people would get out of the way faster. Which is a probably a good thing because I’m now known as an elderly driver
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Gone are the days when I have to cook like my mother. Now I can drink like my father and don’t have to worry about getting up early to get the kids off to school. In fact, there are days I just don’t bother to get out of my pj’s. Long live white wine and the Hallmark Channel!!
A few other questions and advantages to aging:
- When I was a child I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
- The biggest lie I tell myself is… ” I don’t have to write that down, I’ll remember it”.
- I don’t have gray hair… I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m very VERY wise under that camouflage.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
- Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
- My hearing is fine. I only have to listen to every fourth or fifth word because most of the conversation is “um” and “you know”.
- Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
- At my age “Getting Lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.
I have more important information about getting older and I should send this to all my friends, but right now I can’t remember their names. My favorite name tag has become “Hi, my name is Nici. Don’t expect me to remember yours.”
Hope your Holiday and your New Year will be absolutely amazing!!