- Having a donut with my cup of tea.
- Not leaving half the donut in the box.
- Asking the store to deliver, because I walk 10 blocks home.
- Taking a taxi the 10 blocks home even when the store delivers.
- Using a skycap at the airport.
- Asking the guy in the next seat to help with my overhead.
- Climbing over the guy in the next seat every time I have to pee.
- Leaving the theater a couple of minutes before intermission so I don’t have to wait in line to pee.
- Walking out of a movie, play, or musical performance that is awful.
- Writing an honest review on Twitter or FaceBook.
- Sending back an overcooked steak, or undercooked anything.
- Asking for a discount or refund when returning merchandise.
- Giving the bartender my recipe for the best drink ever.
- Knowing the recipe for the best drink ever.
- Going out for dinner instead of cooking, even when the freezer is full.
- Going out to a local bistro for dinner so I don’t have to get all dressed up.
- Calling for delivery when I don’t want to get dressed.
- Watching TV in my jammies all day on a Saturday when the weather is lousy.
- Sleeping late on weekends.
- Accepting a 9-5 job for less money and no late hours.
- Feeling ok about making less money because there are no kids to support.
- Feeling ok about leaving at 5 because I’m not being paid the big bucks to stay.
- Staying after 5 because I want to.
- Having dessert.
- Having ice cream instead of lunch.
- Making waffles for dinner.
- Or lunch.
- Or a midnight snack.
- Having a midnight snack.
- Being called ma’am, or madam instead of miss.
- Having the door opened for me.
- Using my senior citizen subway pass.
- Using my AARP discount card for something already on sale.
- Going to a store because stuff is on sale.
- Decorating my house the way I want to.
- Selling my collections instead of waiting for the kids to want them.
- Keeping the money.
- Spending the money on a new dress.
- Taking the dress on an exotic adults-only vacation.
- Not sending postcards from my vacation.
- Shortening my skirts.
- Growing my hair.
- Choosing my hair color – or not.
- Giving up the gym membership I haven’t used in 2 years.
- Walking by the gym without thinking “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
- Spending money on Botox.
- Wearing my glasses.
- Putting my hair up in a ponytail.
- Riding in a convertible and not worrying about my hair in a ponytail.
- Spending extra for Broadway instead of off-Broadway.
- Buying snacks at the movie instead of bringing them from home.
- Bringing them from home when mine are better.
- Hating Kale. And Quinoa.
- Asking the waiter for a real vegetable.
- Ordering French fries instead of a side salad.
- Ordering French fries instead of an entrée.
- Being so over “molecular gastronomy,” “foam,” “gluten-free,” “cleanses,” “fusion,” “sriracha,” “truffle oil,” “ramen burgers,” and fake smoke
- And rolling guilt free eyes at “foodstagramming”, chicken and waffles as haute cuisine, coconut water, cronuts, and quail egg toppers.
- Refusing to drink anything on fire.
- Buying an expensive cashmere sweater.
- Wearing the cashmere sweater whenever I want.
- Using the good china, silver, and crystal for everyday.
- Not saving anything for “a special occasion.”
- Saying I like you, thank you, I’m so happy I know you, and I love you.
- Not waiting for a special occasion to say any of those
