Happy Mothers Day to every one of you out there still blessed to have your children and grandchildren in your life. It isn’t easy being a mother today, and it especially wasn’t easy in the “olde days”. My daughter was born fifty three years ago, when I was eighteen. In pre-internet, pre-Amazon, pre-HMO healthcare, pre-cell phone days. Advice was non-existent. My mother was dead, my living grandmother was a country woman with no modern knowledge, and every other female relative I knew lived states and long distance calls I couldn’t afford to make away. There was Dr. Spock – a book from the library. And a paper hand-out given when we were discharged from the hospital, where no instruction was given on how to nurse a baby.
I failed miserably. I didn’t feed her properly, I didn’t discipline her properly. I didn’t spend enough time with her when she got older – thinking the money I was making from working three jobs and the stuff and shelter I could give her was more important. New clothes, braces, camp, Girl Scout trips, summer baby-sitters, but mostly staying in our house I couldn’t afford after the divorce….when home could have been a reasonably priced apartment.
And I spent entirely too much time trying to find love for myself. I could have waited. Who knew, then, that life continues apace into your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond.
Enough with excuses, I screwed up and have paid the price. For all of you out there still involved in child-rearing….DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES.
Give them everything they need – love, nurturing care, direction, food, clothing, shelter, education, medical care (even if you have to go without yourself) – and put their feet on the path to a successful life. And especially….give them yourself. Your life can begin again when they are on their own and their lives will be better for your sacrifices.
And for those of you where it is too late, remind yourself every day that You are wonderful. You did the best job possible during difficult times and not having you in their lives today is their loss.
Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere — birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren and dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but each and every day.