Today I passed a dry cleaning establishing in the middle of Manhattan whose large sign included the words “Professional Tailoring and Alterations.” Why “professional?” Would I think they would do “un” professional job (and I would still pay them?)
Which reminds me of the workmen who built the leaky porch at my last house. When I refused to pay until repairs were made, the response was “but you didn’t tell me you wanted a good job!!”
Bigger, better, best. Healthier, shinier, smoother. More meat, more absorbency, softest, hardest, more per inch (ok, that last one could be a really good thing – depending on what we are measuring, of course). It is disconcerting to think advertising induced me to buy their obviously inferior product all these years.
Somehow ad agencies forget that every adjective and adverbial superlative denigrates the product that came before. When a Hershey’s bar proclaims “now 5% bigger” I wonder what the company did with the 5% less chocolate that failed to find its way past my lips into my mouth.
Don’t get me started on “The Religious Bookstore for Selected Catholic Sisters” over on 8th Avenue.