Or, the Great Toilet Paper Panic of 2020.
Why are we panic buying Toilet Paper? After all, there are a lot of options: showers, personal bidets, squeeze bottles of water, wash cloths, napkins, and even non-ecologically friendly baby wipes. Rolled and perforated toilet paper wasn’t even invented until Seth Wheeler patented it in 1891 (the accompanying illustration definitively ending the argument of over or under).
But as soon as Covid-19 was reported in the United States, panic buying began, emptying shelves faster than they could be stocked and requiring police to manage Costco parking lots. Many reasons have been reported: fear of shortages from foreign manufacturers, a need for order, low-level hoarding similar to the clutter of take-out menus and old magazines, and the subconscious fear of contamination from filth and disease.
As one newspaper op-ed put it: Toilet paper has become the nesting material of the modern age.
Throughout history, people have eliminated waste and cleaned with whatever was readily available. Until 1966, my grandparents did not have a toilet. They had an outhouse and used newspaper and last year’s Sears catalog (it wasn’t shiny then). And when we visited, that’s where we went to do our business, although mom had packed toilet paper in our suitcase.
Infectious disease specialists suggest toilet paper is neither efficient nor hygienic. But most feel that going without it would be an indignity too far. So despite there being better ways, and warnings that we are “flushing away our forests”, no one wants to get caught without it.
**Charmin Commercial with singing bears circa 2018-2020