Bondage brings up a series of odd images. Ties that bind. A unique children’s puzzle game. The discipline that isolates and insulates network components between layers to increase security. The custom of debt bondage. A set of invisible chains forged by our childhood, family environment, culture, fear, or reactions to past events. *funny to think you can apply the same principles to computers as co-dependents*
Our past can drag us down and cause us to enter into relationships with starry-eyed dreams of a life that is greater, better, healthier, and more complete than the life we have, but we often just tie ourselves up with yet another set of chains.
I lived with the same man for 13 years, without any discussions of marriage. I worked long hours in his business in trade for insurance, a retirement fund, and a full bank account, spending my free time taking care of all the aspects of our life he ignored, or refused to deal with. When he said, “I love you” he meant “I want something from you” and I find that love facade the most offensive part. Somehow he thought the phrase transformed the relationship and changed the molecules.
It takes a lot of courage to break the bonds. Almost always more than we think we’ve got, and almost always more than we think we should have to find. You can approach life as a victim – or as a fighter. But understand right now, if you don’t decide which way to play with life, it will always play with you.
If you find there is no longer a we in the us that had been, it’s time to conquer the fear, stop settling, and find The One that puts the two back in your Together.